My sick 87-year-old mom just moved into a nursing home — I want to sell her $5 million Washington, DC mansion now but my sisters want to wait until she passes. What’s better for the family?

Why you need a power of attorney

Thankfully, your mother designated you as her POA agent. Typically, only the person who owns the house can sell it. But if they become incapacitated, only the person identified as the agent in a financial POA would be able to sell it on their behalf.

Even then, the sale may not run smoothly. For instance, questions can arise as to whether the person granting the POA was competent enough to sign it when they did. To avoid this, it’s good practice to draft a letter of competency when the document is signed. This is a statement from a doctor that says the person is competent enough to make informed decisions regarding their affairs.

If you didn’t have POA status, you’d need to petition the court for guardianship to sell the home. This can be a long and expensive process, and you’d need to already have a signed contract for the sale.

The court remains involved throughout the sale and will ultimately approve or deny it. Some lawyers specialize in dealing with Alzheimer’s and dementia cases, so it may be a good idea to consult one.

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Consider your inheritance options

Typically you inherit a house through the probate process, by a transfer on death deed or via a living trust. But your mother doesn’t have a transfer on death deed or a living trust. That means the house will become part of the estate and will have to go through probate before it can be sold.

Probate is a court-supervised process where the assets of the deceased are assigned as dictated in a will or, in the absence of one, decided by the probate court according to state law. Some debts will also need to be paid by the estate.

Probate law is different in each state and so are the costs, which can include court fees and lawyer fees and taxes, among others. Before starting the process, it’s a good idea to research your state’s probate laws and consult a lawyer. The probate process can take months to years, and the process will likely slow down the selling of the house.

With some planning on the part of the parent, you can avoid the house being part of the probate process with a transfer on death deed, which is available in some states. This should allow you to take immediate possession of the house, but the laws vary from state to state. Keep in mind, if there are other assets left behind, the estate may still have to go through probate.

Perhaps the best way to avoid probate is for the parent (grantor) to have set up a living trust. This is a legal document that details the terms of the trust, the assets that will be assigned and how they are to be distributed to beneficiaries of the trust upon the guarantor’s death.

When the grantor dies, beneficiaries receive the assets as laid out in the living trust rather than going through probate. You would need to consider, however, other associated costs, like set-up fees and potential tax consequences.

Next steps

Selling a family home can be an emotional experience and not everyone may agree on the best way forward. In this case, you and your sisters are footing the bill for your mom’s costly nursing home — so it may make sense to sell the home now.

There may be an issue though if the division of the estate in the mother’s will is different than her verbal intent for the house to be split between the sisters. She has said verbally that she wants the proceeds of the house to be divided between her daughters but that may not have been stipulated in her will. You will want to consult with a lawyer to ensure there are no issues about distribution of the proceeds of the sale.

If you can’t come to an agreement on this, then you may want to explore the possibility of taking out a reverse mortgage on the property to fund the nursing home care without selling.

You may also want to engage a financial advisor to help your family members get on the same page about this life change — and come to a consensus on your next move.