This 43-year-old wife says her husband just turned 50 — but they’re $480K in debt with no savings, retirement plan. He refuses to talk about it. Ramit Sethi intervenes

For many people, a house is a cornerstone of their wealth-building strategy. But for some, their home can become a financial anchor that drags down their personal wealth and financial security.

Kate, 43, and Drew, 50, find themselves in the latter situation. They were living in a 1,000 square foot condo when they bought a foreclosure house to accommodate their growing children. They needed to fix it up, and in a recent episode of "Money for Couples" with Ramit Sethi, Drew said this was when he was "hit" with the debt and the realization that the family’s debt was “insurmountable.”

Kate admits they didn’t have enough savings to buy the larger property but moved ahead with the decision regardless because her parents offered them financial support. The couple decided to undertake two renovation projects that went way over budget.

“I hypothetically was like, “Oh we’ll just do the kitchen and the bathrooms and it will cost about $50,000,’ yeah well we had to add another zero!” Kate says, to a befuddled Sethi. Altogether, the couple spent $525,000 on renovations and are now holding $480,548 in total debt, much of which is housing related in the form of a mortgage and home equity line of credit.

Given their lack of savings and excessive housing debt, Kate and Drew could be described as “house poor.” Unfortunately, this term can also apply to a large number of American families.

For Kate and Drew, a couple who has a high income and manageable fixed costs in general, Sethi recommended cutting expenses and saying “no” to their kids more, establishing an emergency fund and then committing to paying off the HELOC as rapidly as possible. Sethi said he realized that their situation wasn’t as dire as he originally thought. However, he pointed out that improving their finances won’t be possible unless the couple can manage to be aligned and work together on their financial issues.

“For the longest time it has been, Kate handles the finances, even though she doesn't quite have the technical knowledge of it. Drew's not interested in the finances and he's happy that she handles it,” Sethi explains. “Really the biggest risk is that the two of you just carry on the way you've been carrying on. You'll get into more debt somehow, don't build the skills of saying "no," of building a vision together, of being aligned."