My wife’s family lives off trust funds and loves to splurge on exotic vacations, private chefs. They want to pay for a once-in-a-lifetime trip with our kids, but I said no — am I wrong?

Open conversations about money can help everyone stay happy

If you and your wife disagree on whether her family should pay for a vacation for your kids, talking about the issue openly becomes one of the only healthy ways forward.

The choice affects your entire family, including your children's chance to make memories with their extended family and your wife's ability to enjoy time with the people she loves. You may feel like the trip isn't a good idea, but your wife needs to know why that's the case so that your choice doesn't breed resentment.

You'll want to outline the reasons the trip is a cause for concern. For example, are you afraid you'll feel beholden to her family or like you owe them something? Is your pride hurt by the fact you can't afford the trip on your own? Are you worried you'll be pressured to spend more than you should while on vacation?

Some of these reasons could be more valid justifications for missing the trip than others — like if you feel her family will hold it over your head and have reason to believe that. But if you just feel bad you can't afford the trip on your own, then making your wife and kids miss the special experience because of your pride may be something you come to regret.

While it may seem difficult to have a heart-to-heart about the issue, it's a good habit to start — especially if money is becoming a point of conflict.

Talking with your wife about budgeting, spending caps and the type of lifestyle you want to live with the money available to you can help you get on the same page about these important issues — which will pay dividends even beyond the trip.

Earn cash back on what you buy most

Maximize your spending and earn up to 6% cash back on groceries, streaming, gas, and more. Whether it’s everyday purchases or splurges, this card puts money back in your pocket.

Learn more

How to have the money talk

If the idea of having this type of sensitive conversation about finances has you filled with dread, you aren't alone.

Around 62% of Americans don't talk about money at all, according to a survey from Empower. This includes the 63% of respondents who don't even have financial conversations with their own family despite 66% believing financial discussions could help build generational wealth.

The good news is, there are ways to overcome your hesitancy around discussing financial matters. Ramsey Solutions offers some helpful suggestions including:

• Talking about your money story. Sharing how money was handled in your household can help you understand each other's perspectives.
• Discussing your financial fears. If you're feeling financial stress, this could impact your spending and saving decisions — including whether you want to accept the gift of a lavish trip. You can work together to overcome these concerns.
• Sharing your dreams. When you get on the same page about goals, you can make a financial plan to achieve them together. And chances are if her parents are paying for the trip, you’ll still be able to meet them.

Ultimately, this trip may represent a bigger issue in your marriage because of differing financial philosophies or concerns about how your wife's family's money impacts your kids. Take the opportunity to have these talks so you can work as a team to decide what makes sense for you and the people you love the most.