My mother opened a credit card in my name, left me with $1,100 in debt and got mad when my aunt paid it off. Am I wrong for exposing this to the family and accepting my aunt’s help?

Options for victims of familial fraud

While this situation is particularly troubling, perhaps even more concerning is that it’s fairly common.

A study from Javelin Strategy conducted in 2021 revealed that one in 50 U.S. children are victimized by identity theft every year, while 73% of those victims are targeted by a person they know.

If a parent wants to access funds that they otherwise couldn't, their children are often good targets for familial fraud, as most parents typically have ready access to their child's personal details like their birthdate and Social Security number. Unfortunately, this puts victimized children in a really difficult position as they often have to choose between protecting their family members or protecting their credit.

A study from the Office for Victims of Crime reveals family identity theft, or intergenerational identity theft, can be a particularly troubling problem because the target ends up being victimized twice: once by a loved one stealing their identity, and then again by the system, which won’t help unless a police report is filed.

Identity theft victims typically aren't responsible for paying for fraudulent charges, and they can often get any negative information removed from their credit reports. However, in order for these things to happen the victim would have to report the fraud to the police, and this could cause a lot of problems if a family member is the culprit.

In this situation, you’ve apparently chosen not to report your mother to the police after getting your aunt to help pay for the fraudulent charges. The big consequence that you’re now left to deal with is the damage to your credit.

Unfortunately, late payments on the card will remain on your credit report for seven years. You could try calling the creditor to explain what happened and see if they'll remove the negative information, but there's no guarantee of that happening.

Next, you'll need to decide how hard of a line to take, but it would be well within your rights to explain to your mother that not only has she stolen your identity and broken the law, she’s also made it tougher for you to borrow money in the future.

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Protecting yourself from identity theft

Since you've already become a victim of identity theft, you'll want to take steps to ensure that it never happens again.

First and foremost, collect the personal documents that your mother may have used to commit the crime, such as your Social Security card and birth certificate. Those need to be in your possession now that your mother has proven she can't be trusted.

You should also check on your credit record at AnnualCreditReport.com to make sure your mom — and potentially others — haven't done any more unauthorized borrowing in your name.

It's a good idea to check in on your credit record regularly, even if you haven't just had your identifying information misused. That way you can spot signs of potential identity theft right away and take the necessary steps to rectify the situation.

Freezing your credit is another good option to ensure that no more fraudulent activities occur. Check in with each of the major credit reporting agencies — Equifax, Experian and TransUnion — to put a freeze on your reports so that no one will be able to open credit accounts in your name.

Putting a security freeze on your credit prevents creditors from accessing your credit report, which prevents them from approving any new credit accounts from being opened in your name. If someone tries to steal your identity to open new credit accounts in your name, they won't be able to until you lift the freeze.

Taking these steps can help in keeping your identity safe for the future — but in this situation, it's also worth having a conversation with your mom about the seriousness of what she has done. If she’s simply unwilling to acknowledge her actions, think seriously about letting her know that any repeat behavior will lead to a call to the police.