Boomers are sad they may never be grandparents as fewer Americans choose to have children. With soaring child care costs and sky-high home prices, can you blame them?

Why younger families aren’t having kids

So why are so many younger Americans opting out on having a family? According to a Pew Research Center survey, 57% of adults under 50 who say they’re unlikely to ever have kids say a major reason is they just don’t want to. Twenty percent say a major reason is they don’t really like children.

Close to 40% of adults who are 50+ who don’t have kids say it just didn’t happen and over 30% say they didn’t find the right partner. Younger adults, however, say they want to focus on their career or other interests (44%) or don’t want to have kids because they’re concerned about the state of the world other than the environment (38%). And 36% say they simply couldn’t afford to raise a child. It’s worth noting that infertility or medical reasons weren’t significantly different between the two groups.

Majorities in both groups say that not having kids has “made it easier for them to afford the things they want, have time for hobbies and interests, and save for the future.”

The rising cost of raising children is a legitimate concern. Some younger adults reacted to The New York Times article by commenting on social media that it’s easy for baby boomers to complain while they're comfortably settled.

‘"how could this have happened,’ we cried from our vacation home while our kids were barely affording groceries,” wrote user Adam Singer sharing a screenshot of the story and a chart of the U.S. wealth owned by each generation.

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The cost of raising a child in America today

The average (mean) annual cost of raising a child across America’s 100 most populous metros is $22,989, according to an analysis by Creditnews Research of Department of Labor data. These costs include childcare and civic engagement expenses, food, healthcare, housing, internet and phone, transportation, and other necessities

Considering that the median household income in the U.S. was $80,610 in 2023, that’s a huge chunk of a family’s annual income. Raising a child until the age of 18 averages $413,810, according to the Creditnews analysis — but, let’s face it, the cost of raising a child typically doesn’t stop at 18. Factor in college, a wedding and other forms of financial support, and that number could be on the low end.

For young families, housing continues to be a major expense, with demand outstripping supply. The median home sale price was $434,720 in October, up 5% compared to the same time last year, according to Redfin. At the same time, the average 30-year fixed rate mortgage rate is still elevated at 6.69%.

Child care, too, can be a major expense — if you can even find child care. According to a large-scale survey for BabyCenter, 40% of families looking for daycare have been placed on a waitlist, with an average wait of about 6 months. The Care.com 2024 Cost of Care Report found that, on average, respondents are spending 24% of their household income on child care. “Within the first five years of their child’s life, parents are being forced into a financial hole that is nearly impossible to climb out of,” says Brad Wilson, CEO of Care.com. The national average daycare cost is $321 a week, which is up 13% from 2022.

How are families managing?

Since housing is a major expense, those who are willing and able may want to consider moving to a more affordable metro area. Not surprisingly, the Creditnews analysis found a strong link between cities with the most affordable housing and those with the lowest cost of raising a child.

The most affordable city is Jackson, Mississippi, where raising a child is 36% lower than the national average, thanks to relatively cheap rent and affordable childcare. McAllen-Edinburg-Mission, Texas is the most affordable metro for raising multiple children, with more affordable food, transportation and healthcare, according to Creditnews. Families may also opt to move into a smaller home.

Child care is another major expense, and while it’s easier said than done, it may be worth looking for an employer that offers childcare subsidies or on-site daycare. Another option is a Dependent Care FSA (DCFSA), offered at some companies, which allows you to put aside up to $5,000 in pre-tax dollars for eligible dependent care expenses, including daycare, day camps and after-school programs.

If you have an in-home childcare provider, you may also be able to claim the Child and Dependent Care Tax Credit (CDCTC). There are also subsidies and programs that could provide help for lower-income families.

Ironically, combatting the cost of childcare could come down to getting the grandparents to pitch in.